Goodbye 2018. Hello 2019!

Year 2018 End of Year Review, Yeah !

I don’t even know where to get started.

What I can recall is starting the year with lot of aspirations and some resolutions.


In the beginning of 2018

My vision was to raise my game up to the next level and I had six main goals written down:

  1. Invest in myself and increase my Wellbeing level further: exercise more (ice skating was the desire), deepen my meditation practice, dress like a lady without losing comfort.

    The last one was a biggie because sometimes I oscillate between the tomboy, skier and millionaire look, all in one day/week. I felt like it was about time to buy more stylish and grown-up clothes without sacrificing in colour, style, and comfort.

  2. Go back to embracing simplicity and minimalism in all areas of my life. This last house move showed me that I have accumulated stuff so that I am no longer a lady with only 3 suitcases. My aim is to have and do less but always top quality. It is about embodying the essential Lifestyle that I preach to my clients.

  3. Continue to grow the foundations for healthy finances: paying off debts, saving more and buying with conscience. I don't have to buy things just because I like them or they are discounted. However, we both know that it always sounds easier said than done!

  4. Express myself creatively and have more fun: more dance in the stress and more singing in the shower; watch stand up comedy; watch films; go to the theatre and live music gigs . Explore new genres. Star Trek, here I come!

  5. Travel more frequently to refill energy and be with family and friends. It's about time to hit the road with a backpack full of curiosity and return with awesome stories to tell.

  6. Challenge myself to grow: read, write and speak more frequently both online and offline.I have also decided to take a vegan and vegetarian cuisine course. Food and cooking have always been my thing and now I want to take it to a further level. If time permits, I want also to go back to take piano lessons.


Now, the review or reality check, if you prefer

My year was going great, but somewhere mid- July, things started derailing and in December, I was dying for the year to end, because a combo of confusion, overwhelm and exhaustion has became part of my daily life.

I achieved a lot of things, but I also got distracted, lost focus and ended up missing very meaningful goals. This could lead me to get into a spiral of defeating thoughts. However, I have learned to do my year review in a way that goes beyond goals achievement and focus more of how I have grown as a person and professional.

As your own CEO, you look at the present state of you, plan ahead for your future, and cast a vision for who you want to be and where you want to go.
— Paulette Perhach

Today, I will share with you, the questions from different sources - Marie Forleo, Oprah, Pauline Perhach and others - which I have mixed and matched to build something that could guide us.

There isn’t a “one size fits all” thing. So you pick the questions that most resonate with you and do your own review as you like.

You can think of this review as a Check-in like an executive meeting with yourself to close the year on a good note. Also remember to be kind to yourself. This year wasn’t easy for many of us, but Gosh, if we are still here to tell the story, that is already something to be grateful and thankful for.

Now, the questions

questions
  • What’s one thing I did that I am proud of?

  • What’s one mistake I made and the lesson I learned?

  • What’s one limiting story I am ready to let go of before entering the New Year?

  • What do I like about my life?

  • What are some things I want to be different by next year?

  • Who are the people who most add to my life? How can I make them more part of my life?

  • Who are the people that I know are toxic, or create drama in my life? How can I reduce their impact in my life?

  • What is the most important habit or activity to add or subtract from day-to-day living?

  • How would I rate my life in the realms of career, finances, health, relationships, growth, fun, and lifestyle? ( I usually use a 0-10 scale)

  • What is something I can do to fix the area of my life that's most lagging?

  • How can I remember my plan throughout the year?

  • Who is someone I can trust to help me get to where I want to be over the next year?

  • If there's a gap between where I am now and where I want to be, what's one step I can take now to close that gap?


Saying Goodbye to 2018

After my review, I came to the conclusion that 2018 was a beautiful mess. Almost like a Masterclass in the art of being more of myself and living well. There were so many things to be happy and proud about. Let us just call them “highlights”:

Cleaning on the riverside for the sake of the Ocean and fishes

Cleaning on the riverside for the sake of the Ocean and fishes

I deepened my meditation practise: went back to Zen Dojo; showed up everyday to my Kundalini Yoga Meditation practise. It was all about incorporating my practise into the way I live and interact with the world. Trust me, it was freaking difficult and there were times when I thought more about my shortcomings than anything else. However, what Meditation teaches you is that no matter what happened yesterday, you can still show up for life every day and do your best every day.

I did my most public talk at the Jelly Bean - a Conference for the Wedding Industry. It was awesome and I felt so thrilled to be among awesome people doing inspiring things.

It’s such a powerful thing to see your dreams coming true. This also opened me the door to many future opportunities.

I a did a massive launch of LifeInLili website and the learning curve was incredible. It taught me a lot about the value of discipline, self-reliance and, collaboration. In the end, I have got this lovely website that represents me better and it’s here for the enjoyment of all of us.

I travelled around the UK and discovered beautiful towns. It reminded that my love for London grows every time I get away a bit. Maybe is the old adage that sometimes you have to go far in order to clearly recognise what you love about a place.

I attended to the Food Academy which not only fast tracked my professional development but also increased my passion for good food. I learned how to run a luxury food business and got so excited with the possibility of launching my own project. The pitch date is set for 2019 and I can’t wait to unveil my idea to “shark tank”. I also got more involved within my company and participated in many activities including Volunteering.

I tried new things - floating pod, started learning Swedish and Enneagram, and took some driving lessons after 7 years without driving. All these things took me a bit of my comfort zone, especially driving in the streets of London. It was an adventure but I still don’t trust to drive alone yet.

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Robin Williams

Robin Williams

Altucher - always controversial

Altucher - always controversial

I went to see Chris Rock on Tour and it was amazing. Chris is one of my favourite Stand Up Comedians and I always wanted to see him live. As usual he didn’t disappoint. In fact, he exceeded my expectations. You can read my review of the show here.

I also attended to interesting talks and saw James Altucher live. I have been following his blog for many years, so yes, it was something special. The talk happened in a comedy club where many great comedians, including Robin Williams have performed. It was a honour to be at this place because I am a die-hard fan of Stand Up Comedy. Hopefully one day I get to perform in this place too. Dreams, Dreams ….

I upgraded my financial game. I learned to save money and to live by the budget which for a person like me who likes to enjoy life to its fullest is very challenging. However, the results were worthy the sacrifice: I paid off some important debts and totally become more responsible when it comes to the way I use my money.

I also stopped spending money in products, brands and places that aren’t in alignment with my principles. This one is an important one. I used to buy my hair products from the local Asian shops, but some of them treated black women who were the majority of the customers like rubbish - I have witnessed it and experienced it myself. I used to get angry and sometimes had massive arguments, but one day, I had this “aha” moment which made me realise that there must be other options. So I went out and looked for them. End of the stress.

My second biggest achievement was definitely being able to watch Star Trek from the original series to the films. It became my “church” because I have learned so much about decision making, ethics, morality and even emotions. One day, I will write about how watching Star Trek improved my life. I have also watched many films, series and documentaries, especially on Netflix. I probably watched TV for more than 600 hours. Please don’t freak out, because all the content I watched helped me improved my mindset and Lifestyle beyond my wildest dreams. Many of the content I watched such as “Black Panther”, “Nappily After”, “Widows”; documentaries about "Nina Simone, Maya Angelou and; Stand up specials with Chris Rock and Dave Chapelle reconnected me with my sense of identity as a black person.

I was in a relationship with someone with whom I formed a very interesting and deep connection which allowed us both to have fun, learn and grow lot. It was fascinating to be with someone who exists and operates in the world in a totally different way from me but at the same time, being able to complement each other in a balanced way. It was also good to have company to talk, explore and do cool activities.This relationship forced me to review my mindset regarding relationships and to learn about my deepest needs and fears. Some days everything flowed easily and other days, it required intentional effort and effective communication to be able to be and remain together. I am actually very proud of myself, because I have grown a lot and part of that was to learn to accept myself; be with my emotions instead of avoiding them or running away; show up every day; and create a safe space for me and my partner to express ourselves without filters and connect on a deeper level. It taught me a level of vulnerability and at the same time Strength that I have never thought to be capable of. I guess that’s what happen when you really open up.

And the last, but not the least: 2018 was the year of my natural hair. I was really invested in learning about my hair and how to care for it. I also attended to Black Hair and Beauty Events and meet some many awesome black women doing inspiring things. On top, I finally found a salon that is just my style. This year was important for me to understand and embrace my heritage and my hair was the gateway to experience more “blackness”. Priceless.


Not all roses though

There were some low moments this year where frustration got the best of me and sadness invited the tears to roll down my checks.

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I lost some people that I loved along the way. Some of them died physically and others died metaphorically. The latter were “leaves and branches” that had to leave my life because their time was up. It was hard, but it made see crystal clear who are my “roots” - the people who truly love me and are here for me. At last, I found my a safe place and kindness in people I have never expected.

The way I perceive and live relationships were shaken to the core. I became a different person and the way I interact with people around me changed dramatically.

My mindset had to go (and still going) through a massive decluttering. There were so many limiting beliefs and outdated stories I was carrying without being fully aware of them. And many of these beliefs were the reason why I was struggling in life.

First came the shock of recognising some of the beliefs : “I am not good enough”, “I don’t have enough”, “I don’t do enough” just to name a few of them. At the same time, it became clear to me that if I wanted to live a good life, I am better off learning how to change my mindset and let go of all the crap I was carrying because of the bad experiences I went through in the past.

Stress took the best of me sometimes . At work, the last months of the year were so stressful that I started experiencing anxiety. There were two episodes when I lost it and in one of them I started crying in the middle of a phone call.

In the aftermath of launching this website, I was experiencing so much frustrations that I ended up crying in the middle of a dinner with friends. When you are a Extremely Busy Person like me, you try to juggle so many tasks that you end up feeling scattered and overwhelmed. That is exactly what happened to me.

To make it worse, I had to let go of some of the dreams I have been harbouring in many domains. Suddenly, it felt as if all the structures of my life were falling apart and there was nothing I could do about it. That brought a feeling of helplessness too.

The good about all this is that I really had to tap into the power of SELF CARE to keep me sane and going. I am still resting as much as I can and soon I will be going on a well deserved holidays.

Despite the adverse moments, I see 2018 as a “character building year”. Therefore I like to believe that it’s a stepping stone for something better: feeling food in my skin and enjoying life more.


Thank you & Goodbye 2018!

Lookin’ for these better days
Better days, heyy!
Better days
Got me thinkin’ bout better days
Better days!
Better days, better days Hey!
Better days
Got me thinkin’ bout better days
— Tupac
I wish for …

I wish for …


Hello 2019!

2019 offer us all the possibility to start all over again.

My vision still very much the same: dare to live fully and invest my time creating an meaningful and fulfilling life. I don’t what yours might look like, but I wan to wish you:

A beautiful, happy and, abundant 2019

Look forward hearing and seeing more of you all.

Feel Good > Enjoy Life

Lili